Tough Times....

I seem to have so many blogs about tough times. I started looking back at the things I write and it must seem to the outside person that either I complain a lot, or  my life is really horrible.Neither is true. I have a good life and the things I have gone through and the lessons I have learned have given me immeasurable strength. 

My Professor, they very knowledgeable Dr. Coleman-Mason said Tuesday in class that if you do not go through some crisis in your life you are very unprepared for what life throws at you. For every crisis I go through, as hard as it is, I learn something either about myself or human nature on a whole.

Deshawn and I are going through a lot right now and our relationship is being tested to say the very least. We are both having some realizations about ourselves and each other. My hope is that we both come to the same conclusion about our life together and what we want out of it. 

Growth and learning is hardly ever easy or painless. Both of us are in a lot of pain right now, trust has been lost  and we both are asking ourselves tough questions.

For me the important thing is to get to the root of what is causing my anger and pain so that I may process it, feel it , and move on. My feelings of abandonment and loss go back 40+ years and there are monumental events in my past that I never fully processed. Gratefully I have the tools today and learn more tools every day (the benefits of being a counseling student).

  Deshawn is dealing with his own issues as well and I am trying to show him the tools I have been given as well as trying to be patient and understanding. Certainly a chapter of our lives has ended and a new one is beginning, this is both terrifying and hopeful. Deshawn is not a huge fan of change and so his journey has an added obstacle that I do not have. 

I do have a lot of work to do however, and both Deshawn and I are very fortunate to have a strong support network. We both feel that with the help of our friends and family we will get through this and move forward.

Is there something in the water?

It seems that so many of my family and friends are going through serious health and legal issues lately. Common procedures are turning in to scary problems, and simple legal issues are turning in to huge court room battles!

My little sister Tina just had her gallbladder removed, which in itself is a simple thing. Doctors do thousands of them. But Tina had so many large stones and scar tissue from previous surgeries that her procedure was not simple at all. The surgery  did thankfully go well and she is home now but she is in a lot of pain and has very little support. I wish I could be with her to help her out. I know how difficult it can be to try to heal yourself when you are alone.

I found out  that my Step-Mother Sharon also had surgery yesterday. I am not exactly sure what is going on but I do understand that she has a bad infection in her veins that could be life threatening. Sharon is one of the toughest women I know but she has been plagued with such horrible health issues including Cancer. She and My Dad have been together for over 25 years I think and they have been through a lot together, but this is just really scary for both of them. I could hear the fear and sadness in my father's voice when I talked to him on the phone last night and it broke my heart. My Father is my hero and one of the strongest men I know and to hear and feel him going through such pain is almost unbearable for me. If I had the means to be in West Virginia right to help him through this I would!

I have another friend who is going through a messy divorce. She and her 16 year old daughter are spending their days wondering what horrible event will happen next and how much is this all going to cost! The financial burden is almost as great as the emotional one. Her soon to be ex has become irrational and dangerous and I am worried sick about them. I have yet another friend that has been battling her ex husband for two years now over custody of their two kids and child support. He seems to enjoy  going to court because he creates things to drag her through! It's just crazy!

So I ask " is there something in the water? are the planets alined weird or what?" Bad things are happening to good people and it makes me uneasy and sad. Please keep these people in your prayers and help me send good positive and healing energy to all of them!