Tough Times....

I seem to have so many blogs about tough times. I started looking back at the things I write and it must seem to the outside person that either I complain a lot, or  my life is really horrible.Neither is true. I have a good life and the things I have gone through and the lessons I have learned have given me immeasurable strength. 

My Professor, they very knowledgeable Dr. Coleman-Mason said Tuesday in class that if you do not go through some crisis in your life you are very unprepared for what life throws at you. For every crisis I go through, as hard as it is, I learn something either about myself or human nature on a whole.

Deshawn and I are going through a lot right now and our relationship is being tested to say the very least. We are both having some realizations about ourselves and each other. My hope is that we both come to the same conclusion about our life together and what we want out of it. 

Growth and learning is hardly ever easy or painless. Both of us are in a lot of pain right now, trust has been lost  and we both are asking ourselves tough questions.

For me the important thing is to get to the root of what is causing my anger and pain so that I may process it, feel it , and move on. My feelings of abandonment and loss go back 40+ years and there are monumental events in my past that I never fully processed. Gratefully I have the tools today and learn more tools every day (the benefits of being a counseling student).

  Deshawn is dealing with his own issues as well and I am trying to show him the tools I have been given as well as trying to be patient and understanding. Certainly a chapter of our lives has ended and a new one is beginning, this is both terrifying and hopeful. Deshawn is not a huge fan of change and so his journey has an added obstacle that I do not have. 

I do have a lot of work to do however, and both Deshawn and I are very fortunate to have a strong support network. We both feel that with the help of our friends and family we will get through this and move forward.